On My Mind...

Okay

So I've been trying to write lately. But its been hard. Because there has been SO much on my mind lately as Im beginning many major transitions ( TBA )and just trying to negotiate everyday life and being.
So instead of writing out long detailed blogs, I'm just gonna give you a gist of whats been bothering me daily.

1) Normative Heterosexual Parenting: Not heterosexuals ( Though in their continued prejudice they can be annoying) but the construct of parenting and how parenting should look and be in America. Its awful. Its ridiculous. Its Unfair.

So your telling me; two people are expected to take care of and support economically, emotionally and spiritually one or more children-and then, somehow in the midst of attempting to survive in a classist production centric society, find the time to take care of themselves and support their growth-somehow maintain a romantic relationship and some semblance of mental health; all by themselves with limited external support outside of the nuclear family structure.( was it nicknamed Nuclear because folks just knew it blow up? I mean really?)

No wonder 70% of marriages end up in divorce. No wonder America is listed as one of the most unhappiest countries on the planet. No wonder depression for black folks is through the roof. The framework for family bites. And on top of that, we have an ethic of emotional hoarding where we don't talk about damn near anything; gender concepts that repress everyone and just..oh boi. If you live in the matrix; and don't have a way to negotiate these things...and even if you do..oh boi.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could reinvision life and family? If we really developed intentional community parenting? But of course, that would take alot of self awareness, growth, selflessness, and would take us to relinquish the idea of children as property to make that happen. Not to mention we would have to re-conceptualize power as we see it; and see it each other. This makes my head hurt.

2. And i wonder-isn't this idea of the strong black woman a primary contributor to black men feeling like they are able to leave? Isn't this idea that black women can do and take ANYTHING horrible and dehumanizing? Not that it isn't wonderful to acknowledge the beauty and resiliency of black women, but the strong black woman narrative often denies the fact that black women, like all human beings, need love, support and healing and need to also not carry the load of the universe alone. I'm just saying/

I got a headache. More to come. Forgive my short analysis.

Love peace and healing to the mothers and fathers and families out here struggling to uphold the nuclear family structure. May we all find a new way to be in the world that involves broader community support and not sadistic individuality.