Write the anger out..

In this time where a triangulation of planets are in Pisces, and the moon is in the ever perceptive Scorpio-feelings are at an all time high. What is normally concealed beneath the intellect or buried in the unconscious now becomes even more so apparent. And so in this time, being sensitive as I am, i recognize old feelings return....vestiges of emotions that are always with me...that i recycle and transform and come back to time to time...and so tonite I come back to anger....

Anger

1.) I realized how pissed off I am at Christian culture and christian theology. I recognize how heated I become when the parts of this ideology that administer self hate, dis empowerment or unworthiness is espoused. and as a Queer African American their is no other ideology intra-racially that has caused as much psychological spiritual damage as "Black" Christianity.
How dare anyone assert that we,that you-or anyone other human on this planet could be "Unworthy" or born into "Sin" (Which I believe is S.elf I.nflicted N.onsense), How dare we assert, however subliminally that "God" has "special" people? How dare you assert that our bodies and sexualities, varied and beautiful as they are, are nothing less than sacred? How dare you preach elitism, condension and capitalism in the name of a man who practiced love, compassion, and socialism?
And i know this connects to the young black men i have worked with, and the many black men i know now, who are lost-grappling with a foreign god. Struggling to embrace the beauty of Christ, but caught up in the conundrums of a casual candy coated psychic violence that too many espouse...Yes i must admit i'm still angry. Because I know we are worthy, and I know we have power. Not over others, but from within. ANd i know the universal life force, call it Jah, call it Jesus, call it what you want-or dont believe in it; it doesnt matter becuase it is; it loves us by virtue of being within us and living within us...and this world-with all its madness, sickness and dedication to destruction-is only here because we have made it so; another world is possible; but as long as the ideologies that inform this world are unquestioned, the sickness that stifles our possibilities will pass on..
I feel this, and I know this, and this is my truth. And i know the picture is more complicated. That's Christians nor christian theology cannot be painted with such a broad brush. And that Christianity for so many has been a rock that has held us steady even as it has beaten us down. And i also know that apart of my anger is my woundedness concerning self worth; the wounds that i work towards healing that are opened up each time i encounter a brother who believe in this non-sense. A brother who cannot see his own beauty because misread Hebrew oral literature (the bible) has beaten him out of it. A brother who stabs himself to death in brooklyn, a brother who cries himself to sleep each nite; because he believes he's going to hell .... & I feel sorry for Jesus. I think he would honestly be disappointed in what millions of men and women who follow him are living, teaching and being today. And I echo Lauryn hill too much when i say " I come to churches not to celebrate Christ. but all too often to mourn the absence of his presence in those spaces".

I'm angry. And under my anger is pain. Seeing others hurt is a lot. Feeling others hurt is a lot. Handling my own is enough...but i know that forgiveness is always the first path...and I know I have some work to do..and this work is ongoing..but until we as Black Queer people..and even more broader as human beings..remember we are worthy..remember that their is nothing; no external circumstance or condition that can shift that; until we remember that Love is the law, until we remember that we have the power from within to construct, change and create our destinies...I guess I've got work to do.

Yolo