Thoughts On Ableism (s) Part 1

Ableism: The belief that their is one standard ability, size, state of mental health, state of physical health and overall body that an individual should have and the institituional practices and societal discrimination that devalues, berades, belittles and neglects those who do not fit this mythical norm.

I've been thinking about how complex ableism is lately. How it encompasses the myriad of ways standard accessibility in this country continues to only support those who are able to walk, or walk long distances...I've been thinking about how "pity politics" work, where thier is so much sadness for disabled individuals, as oppossed to sadness and frustration at the system that contines to produce ableist inequties, or us ourselves, for the way our ableism truly reflects our own challenges with embracing difference, and our alleginace to the idea of the standard body which causes us so much hurt and pain.

Some reflections.

I go to the spa on my birthday. Apart of my treatment is a facial, for which I am really excited. Id never had one till that day. The woman comes in and after introducing herself, prepares to ask me a series of questions concerning my use of skin products, skin history etc...
she ends with asking: "So what kind of skin do you think you have?" I have never given this any kind of thought, so i spurt out, I dont know, i guess it's regular...or um..normal skin?
Before i can get out normal she blurts out "NO! You do not have normal skin! Normal skin is PERFECT. With no blemishes, no marks. You have marks and blemishes. You do not have Normal skin."

Inside im thinking ouch. and damn. What the hell constitutes "Normal?" and what about this concept of normality did she feel she must so rigidly enforce? What does it mean when someone creates a concept of "normalcy" that no-one fits into? and what drives this compulsion? Also isnt perfection a myth? And subjective? But for so many people it is not. I can only imagine the hundreds of men and women who come to her for services and leave feeling awful or less than because theier skin is not "normal" or not "perfect." and instead of questioning the concept of normalcy itself, spend thier whole lives striving for a concept that is elusive and impossible.

2) Muscle Culture- Ironically and not surprisingly, muscle culture is really not often about being well(whatever that means). It's not always about being a counscious eater, so much as it is about superficiality and the re-enforcement of the "perfect body", ripe with six packs, flat tummy and all. I dont even find it to be about strength often.

What troubles me about this apsect of our culture is the degree of hatred and disdain that this space puts on people who do not have the "standard mythical body" and the level of negative body talk this culture encourages individuals to do to themselves and others. Now let me be clear, muscle culture doesnt operate in isolation, its simply emblematic of the larger culture. Yet it does have something to teach us.

The one concept i think illuminates this is the concept of "too".
IN our culture, we will often say, somone's chest is "too big", or "too small". Someone's legs calves are "too small" etc, etc. But the concept of "too" implies that that body is being compared to some standard. too small in comparsion too who? is a question i often ask, and when i do , the response is a blank stare.
For me the reality is, the idea of someone's body being "too" something is apart of our massive socialization and the reality that the mythical standardized body is always within our heads.

This is not to suggest that working out, or body building is wrong. No, that's not it at all. The problem i think is the puttin down of other people or internalized self hate that often comes along with that; and honestly its not just present at the gym. yet in my experience in gay culture, where superficiality often leads the way; in an interesting site to explore it, however brief.



The bigger question I want to offer is, How can we create space within ourselves ( cause we always start with us) to embrace different body abilities, sizes, shapes etc, and challenge our own self hate ( which is what it is, only projected on others at times) in order to be effective in creating a world where there is no "too" and all our bodies get and deserve equal repsect and honoring? How do we as able bodied individuals, look at our own fear of being disabled as really being linked to our own pitty politics and self hate? Can we find the courage to disrupt the mythical norm by loving our round tummies, our "non-normal " skin, our different abilities, senses, etc?

More to come....