Accountability

In last weeks "The Sunday Spirit" I wrote in the second feature "Self hate is a crime against the universe. It is a crime against God and A crime against yourself." After having time to reflect on the use of that language, I have chosen to shift the word "crime" to "dis-service." The reason I have done this is because I do not want to suggest that the universe is a punitive entity. I also do not want to enforce the judeo-christian concept of "wrong" and "right". What I desire to convey ultimately is that it I believe it is hurtful, and a dis-service to the universe to abuse ourselves and to abuse others. I hope that message gets through.
Even the language of Spiritual law is complicated for me. I think a better use of language would be spiritual principles, as I don't believe the universe exacts punishment, it merely reciprocates what is has been given. I am not sure if anyone besides myself picked up on this language. Even if no-one did, It's important for me to be accountable to the ideas that I replicate into the universe. And this is just one example. I hope for anyone who may have picked up on that, that you were still able to enjoy the piece and grasp the broader spiritual message I was trying to communicate. I will always do my best to hold myself accountable, and I ask that you always know that I am open to your feedback, thoughts, and challenges.

With Much Love

Yolo

The Sunday Spirit: God is trying to tell you something.

Inhale.
Pause.
Exhale.
Pause.
Listen: God is trying to tell you something.
Be still. Sit. Cease all movement. Quiet Your Mind.
Listen: God is trying to tell you something.

Look at your life. Your friends. Your relationships. Your income. Your culture. Your beliefs. Your body. Your health. Your Home. Your feelings.
Sit back;
reflect.
listen:
God is trying to tell you something.

You are so busy. On the go. Running from here To There. To do this or that. That you've missed some messages. Your inbox is full. You haven't checked it in a while. If you open it up you'll find out: God is trying to tell you something.

What is God trying to tell you? What are the messages that your life is communicating to you right now that you have been missing?

The messages are all around you. The messages are in your friendships, the messages are in your romantic relationships, the messages are in the circumstances and situations you are attracting, the messages are in the systems and society's in which you live.
Is God trying to tell you something about You? About something you need to learn, release, let go, celebrate, or change?
Today, I want to invite you to Stop. Be Still. and Listen:

Cause I just have a feeling, deep in my spirit; that God has really been trying to tell you something. Maybe, just maybe, you should listen.

In love,

Yolo

The Sunday Spirit: I'm poor, black, hell I may even be ugly-but dear God i'm here!

YOU are here. Today. Now. And Today I am asking you to stop it.Stop. Stop it right now. Stop the put downs. Stop the self blame. Stop the comparisons, release the shame and let go of the self hate. Stop finding every small detail about yourself that you don't feel is "up to par" by someone else's standards and berating yourself. Stop the "woh" is me and the pity stories. It's not what you came here to do and it is not reflective of the powerful, beautiful entity that you are.

Self hate Is a dis-service to the universe. It is a dis-service to god and a dis service to yourself. You did not come here, to this planet, devoid of purpose or mission. You did not come here to this planet; as a distinct unique entity ( There will never ever be another you in the history of creation) only to try to mold yourself into someone or something else. And quite frankly I'm angry with you. And underneath that anger is hurt. How could you not see yourself for who you are? How could you not realize all the light and joy you bring to so many around you? How could you overlook the talents and gifts you have within you? How could you look in the mirror and spit on yourself-which in turn;means that you spit on the face of God?
And i know the rap. The culture has taught us so much about self hate. If we look on the T.V at any given moment, it's communicating to us how until we get this "product" or those clothes we are not "fierce". Unless we wear this makeup, unless we have this body, unless we have this car we are not worthy. But let's be real for a moment. It's not just "them" right? Cause we are them-and they are us. The world without is only a reflection of the world within. So while we must hold the outer would accountable for the messages they send-recognize that if they are sending them then on some level, in some way-you are likely to be sending those same life-debasing messages to yourself and others as well. I want to invite you to stop.

No circumstance or situation is a reflection of your worthiness. They are a reflection of the path this world has created to deflect you from finding the truth that your worthiness has always been within you, and the truth that your worthiness is infallible. There is nothing you can do to shift it. That's right nothing. Cause the universe knows what you did ten years ago or didn't do today. And the universe will always hold you accountable through consequence and spiritual law-and the universe will always, always forgive you. No matter who you are. The universe is the only objective entity that exists. As the framework from which we live; it moves upon action and consequence; not the shifting morals of society or ego driven theology of the collective.

Today is a new day to begin something new. To start a new narrative of compassion. To start a new life where you are not your internal punisher-beating down on yourself for all you believe you are not or have not done. Today is a new day to love. To like. To embrace You. All the corners, crevices, blemishes, all of you. All the things the "world" says you should not. All the parts of you. Hug them. Hold them. Celebrate them and your uniqueness. Celebrate that there will never be another you! And you were given the chance to be here!

One of my favorite lines from the Color purple is when Celie says "I'm Poor, Black, hell i may even be ugly, but dear GOD I’m here!!" And how i interpret that; is that honey, I may be things you despise, dislike or hate cause you cant bear them as your reflection;But I'm here. “I may be Poor, I may be Black, I may be even ugly, but dear GOD I’m here” I was still CHOSEN TO BE HERE. And being things that you have issues with will not prevent me from celebrating my life. I'm going to Celebrate!! Because you may be (fill in the blank) but you're here. YOU are here. & It means that you have a purpose; that you are loved. and that if you stop all the self hate talk; you may be able to hear all the self love the universe is trying to speak to you.

In love, peace and healing
Yolo

My Magical New York Story...

I didn’t understand it at first. When the feeling came. It was initially like a bolt that hit me out of nowhere, knocking me down. The energy from the bolt swelled in my solar plexis and before I knew it I was depressed, saddened..and I didn’t know why. It was hard for me to not know because I generally keep a good connection with my emotional body. So to have this feeling, deeply entrenched into my being, this sense of something coming and not knowing..well it frustrated the hell out of me. And then one day..in mediation it just came to me : New York.

When I first heard it my reaction was resistance. “You want me to what?” “Go where?!” “WHy?!” “I don’t even like that City!”

I fought it and fought it. You can even ask my closet friends. Deep down inside I knew the call had been placed for me to shift to NYC but I was NOT having it. I fought it for months…and things got increasingly harder. The depression deepened. It was like a boulder building in my stomach. In my psychic eye I could feel a tumult coming, like a blizzard of energy rolling down-but unlike my normal experiences, I could not “read” it. I did not know what it was.

One nite, it took me deep into myself..where there was barely a glimmer of lite. I was in despair “You want me to leave my home?” “My friends? All the work that I’ve done and want do here?!” The little glimmer of lite began to fade more and more..and I cracked..i relinquished… i surrendered. I said: “I will go..”

And from there it was…well…almost like magic how the universe opened up for me. In the next few months questions about jobs, about living situations, became almost instantly answered-even when I tried to resist the simplicity of them;they were all in my face long before questions could be posed.

Ladybugs, creatures that represent the power of surrender, started appearing all above my bed and walls. Several of them. I do not know how they got in; and they were nowhere else in the house but my bed room, but they were there; as if to herald my journey. As if to herald my surrender to the Universe’s plan.

At my job; a possible project came up that would allow me to work remotely. All I had to do was find a LMS (learning management system) that we could afford and see how I could make it happen. Well I went to hundreds of websites and one day came to one which held me. I looked at their clients and they all looked waaay to expensive. I wanted to move on..but spirit said: ‘Stay. Reach out to them”. I clicked the icon on the website that allowed me talk to a live person. Ending up telling them about the work we wanted to do with Men Stopping Violence. For a moment there was no response. Then the person typed: “I know this may seem strange, but I am the VP of this company. I am doing this because We are having a staffing challenge. But besides that, I want to talk to you about giving you this software pro-bono. For free.” And it happened. The software we needed to create my remote position was donated for three years. And it was no small donation.. thousands of dollars per year. The universe had a plan.

I went to Austin For the Fire & Ink Conference. Met many brilliant and beautiful people there. Many of who seemed so familiar and yet so foreign. Every time I would ask someone I really liked where they stayed they would say: “I live in Brooklyn.” Andre: I live In Brooklyn. Fly: I live In Brooklyn. Terrell: I live in Brooklyn. Brooklyn and NYC. Always from the people I spent most of my time with. It was an affirmation from the universe.

Housing concerns popped up. Started searching frantically. And when i was sure it wouldn’t work: A longtime buddy of mine, Leandro was like, “Yolo! We have a room available in our space! Come stay with us, at least until you get your own place!” You can get to know the city before you pick your own apartment and well be roomies!” The universe had a plan.

And so now I’ m here. And it feels good. Getting away from Atlanta has been both liberating and sorrowful. Sorrow because I miss my friends, liberating because now I have more alone time than I’ve ever had..and for the past year or so in ATL I have so craved it. I love walking the streets of the city as a stranger, where no-one really knows my name; its unlikely ill run upon any of the youth I’ve worked with, any one who has ever heard of my poetry, read my articles..its refreshing..it’s like i can breathe in a whole new way. Living in a city where people “expect you to be on” can be taxing..and the community in ATL is really really small. While I love all my peeps, these past few weeks have been a welcome respite.

I spend a lot of time roaming the streets of Manhattan, just walking and watching faces. Ride the bus in Harlem in awe of the auras and the family i see there; walk through Brooklyn smiling at the many racial and ethnic groups, cultures, foods..the constant motion. And I have been writing. Writing more than i have in a long time. Writing about my life and what i want to do. Writing about my truth and what i want to share with you. And writing about the work I know I have been called to NYC to do. Working on myself and within the world community. Like you, I too am here for a reason and have a calling. I know that at the end of the day, I’m in new york to answer.

I love my ATL community immensely and miss you all. And I’m looking forward to what this city will make me. And what I will make it :-) .

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, your love, your hugs and lite. Thank you for supporting me in my journey. Your amazing.

and that my friends-is my magical New York Story!

Much much love!

The Sunday Spirit: Working With Where You Are Now

We all have been there. In some shape,form or fashion we all have been there-on the precipice of something new. On the edge of entering a new level, a new cypher, a new sphere or way of being. Sometimes the anxiety of being at this point can be nerve wrecking. Whether you are looking down before you fall and surrender, or looking up as you climb and trust, either way the voices of fear flood your head and heart. They say: “Who do you think you are?” “What have you done anyway?” “What makes you think so highly of yourself?“

These voices can be overwhelming at times and yet to many of us these voices, condemning and judgemental as they are, are our best friends. These are also the voices that often keep us from going forward. From moving towards our dreams and destinies. They hold us back because these voices scream at us about how where we are, wherever we are “is not good”, is “wrong”, or is “not where you should be”. These are the voices that say “by now you should be (fill in the blank)” or most people by your age are (fill in the blank) Or “So and so is already “Fill in the blank”

I’ve been there so many times in my own life: Waiting tables after undergrad, working jobs in which i was dissatisfied and felt made no use of my talents. What I had to do then and what I am learning to do now is each time that ugly voice in my mind pops up and says “where you are now is no good”, I pause. I reflect. And I remember:

Everyone has to start somewhere. I am where I am right now because it is where I need to be to learn whatever it is that I need to get to my goal/my dream /desire.

If i truly believe the universe is unfolding as it should, than wherever I am, no matter how irritating, how challenging, how hurtful, how painful-is where i need to be to learn whatever it is i came to learn this lifetime. Because we are all here as students of life. The sooner we can grasp that the sooner we can stop fighting life and the things before us and instead welcome them, confront them, as the divine opportunities for growth that they really are.

Because at the end of the day all we have is this moment. This moment which is not “black” or “white” but is funky, junky, funny, silly squirmy and mixed with blessings, strife, strengths and challenges. But it’s all we have. It’s all you have.The next moment is not promised.

Embrace where you are now. Look around you at what you have built, and even if you do not like it; even if it frustrates you to no end, claim your hand in it. Take responsibility for being wherever you are. Celebrate the lessons this moment can teach you about what you need to do now. And then take responsibility for shifting it. Get a vision, make a plan. Have compassion for yourself. Hold yourself accountable sternly for the mess, but be easy on yourself and remember: You are human and were put on this planet to learn, not to be perfect. This mess is a divine opportunity to learn how to create something new. It’s a divine opportunity to give thanks to universe for this lesson, then open up the book of life and start studying.

Ashe’

Ashe’

Ashe’

And so it is!